I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
