We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
