I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
