Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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