i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
