Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
do nipples grow back?
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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