i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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