I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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