Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
