I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
