good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
