Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
