Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Everclear isn't food dammit
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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