Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
