it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
