Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
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You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
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I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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