I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
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