I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize