oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize