? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
