Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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