Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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