Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I can't turn off my feet"
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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