Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
