If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
