I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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