Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
