**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
