So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
