I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
this just has baby written all over it
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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