You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
