Dual....:-)
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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