My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
you would pick up someone in the library
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
