So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Randomize
