its not stalking. its research.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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