I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
