Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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