Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
