I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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