Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
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