either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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