We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Randomize
