I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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