Walk of Shame. In a state park.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
