The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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