Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
im holly from the hills drunk
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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