you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize