Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Randomize
