it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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