my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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