; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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