He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
