I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
