Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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