I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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