He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
