so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
