So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
