I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
