honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Randomize
