He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Someone stole a lamp last night.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
