Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
