Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
