The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
